I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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