And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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