You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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