By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
