I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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