Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
