Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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