Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
