Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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