1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
where does the pee come out of this thing
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
