At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
