Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
