so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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