Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
