I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
