I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
