Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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