Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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