I skipped work to stalk him.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
