omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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