The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You know, be my cock's hype man.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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