So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she looked like the before picture.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
