I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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