Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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