be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
