Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
