the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
this is an emotional support booty call
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
