I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
