I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
