You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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