We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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