Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
