she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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