we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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