dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
