I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
