grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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