Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
