What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
