You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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