Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
