This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
