Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
