idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
ok first of all what the fuck
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