he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
