Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
