how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Ketchup is God's man juice
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
