Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize