Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
40s are totally the cure
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize