Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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