Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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