when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
