lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize