Me too!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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