my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
