I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This is the high leading the old right now
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
