He asked to "fluff my boner.."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
