and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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